Right Days
On Tuesday I found out that the promotion I applied for has gone through and I will be changing from a Grade 3 Department Specialist to a Grade 7 Business and Operations manager. This comes with a pay raise, full benefits, paid time off and quarterly bonuses. It's something completely different from what I've always done. I've been a merchandiser for so long that I've begun to wonder if I'm capable of anything else. I'm good at my job and I work hard; I'm always focused on helping everyone else and at this point, I'm pretty much helping with every department and every manager's job. I enjoy helping everyone and interacting with customers and my team.
Now I won't be working with the product as much and physical moves, but I will still need to be knowledgeable about the product and where it's place. However, now my new job will be focused around hiring and recruiting, orientation, training and coaching, staff scheduling, safety requirements, store compliance audits, loss prevention, and other various business related...things.
I'm a little nervous to take it on because no one has been in this position since October so a lot of things have fallen by the way side. I love my team though and I can't wait to get started!!
Billy* and I have been dating for almost 2 months now. It's strange how comfortable I feel around him; I feel as though I've always known him. We're getting to know each other physically very quickly; we can't seem to keep our hands off each other. I'm learning about his past very slowly; I try to not to push or pry but he spends most of his days feeling insecure and doubting himself. He's emotionally fragile and vulnerable, with an even more sensitive ego.
The ironic part is that every day I wake up and I wonder why someone as sweet and kind as him is interested in me. I'm not pretty or skinny, I'm reasonably smart but I have to work hard at it, I have an annoying laugh, my boobs are uneven and two different sizes, I'm lazy, I'm overweight, I am a homebody and a bookworm, my butt is flat and small... He's smart and sweet, friendly and funny, handsome and gentle, patient and kind.
Does it terrify me that I've fallen so hard and so fast for a guy I've spoken to for less than a year and met two months ago??? HELL YES. Does it feel right and safe? Also a yes. I think what speaks the most is that my mom and sister seem to know how serious I am about him. And though my mom warned me gently about falling too quickly, they seem to have accepted him with open arms and understand how deeply I care about him. Some days my instincts tell me to run away and shield myself for the inevitable day he figures out that I am needy and terrible. However, every day I am grateful to be his and I am grateful that he is mine.
I'm still taking my daily medication for depression and anxiety. I decided to start taking it immediately before bed so that it's still in my system when I wake up, because getting out of bed seems to be my biggest challenge. I am taking one day at a time, trying to enjoy little moments and pieces of every day.
Now I won't be working with the product as much and physical moves, but I will still need to be knowledgeable about the product and where it's place. However, now my new job will be focused around hiring and recruiting, orientation, training and coaching, staff scheduling, safety requirements, store compliance audits, loss prevention, and other various business related...things.
I'm a little nervous to take it on because no one has been in this position since October so a lot of things have fallen by the way side. I love my team though and I can't wait to get started!!
Billy* and I have been dating for almost 2 months now. It's strange how comfortable I feel around him; I feel as though I've always known him. We're getting to know each other physically very quickly; we can't seem to keep our hands off each other. I'm learning about his past very slowly; I try to not to push or pry but he spends most of his days feeling insecure and doubting himself. He's emotionally fragile and vulnerable, with an even more sensitive ego.
The ironic part is that every day I wake up and I wonder why someone as sweet and kind as him is interested in me. I'm not pretty or skinny, I'm reasonably smart but I have to work hard at it, I have an annoying laugh, my boobs are uneven and two different sizes, I'm lazy, I'm overweight, I am a homebody and a bookworm, my butt is flat and small... He's smart and sweet, friendly and funny, handsome and gentle, patient and kind.
Does it terrify me that I've fallen so hard and so fast for a guy I've spoken to for less than a year and met two months ago??? HELL YES. Does it feel right and safe? Also a yes. I think what speaks the most is that my mom and sister seem to know how serious I am about him. And though my mom warned me gently about falling too quickly, they seem to have accepted him with open arms and understand how deeply I care about him. Some days my instincts tell me to run away and shield myself for the inevitable day he figures out that I am needy and terrible. However, every day I am grateful to be his and I am grateful that he is mine.
I'm still taking my daily medication for depression and anxiety. I decided to start taking it immediately before bed so that it's still in my system when I wake up, because getting out of bed seems to be my biggest challenge. I am taking one day at a time, trying to enjoy little moments and pieces of every day.
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