Holding Hands
So, it's official. My baby sister is now officially a college student. We dropped her off at university band camp a week ago, Friday the 30th. We moved her into temporary housing and left her there in tears. Part of the emotions were the homesickness she had been dealing with the week prior, the other part ambivalence to the idea of even doing marching band in college. After repeated phone calls about her consistent dehydration and migraines, she ended up visiting the hospital on Sunday and received IV fluids. This usually does the trick to make her bright-eyed and bushy-tailed again. She definitely sounded better on the phone.
We went to see her the next Wednesday, to move her things from temporary housing into her permanent dorm. Her room was mostly decorated when we left and she was clearly still unsure about her time at band camp.
At the time I felt a little guilty about giving her the cold shoulder, but at the same time I knew that only I could give her the tough love she needed. Seeing her yesterday confirmed that I was right to tell her "suck it up". She got practical suggestions from my mother, gentle support from my best friend who happens to be a senior in the same marching band, and me with my "you-got-yourself-into-this-mess, you-get-yourself-out" act. No coddling, no cooing or sympathy. Just a firm "you got this", a kiss on the forehead, and sending her on her way.
She's an adult now and I have been struggling to accept that for years now. Even yesterday as I watched her walk away from me, her ponytail swinging gently as she teetered away with her arms full of flag poles. She seemed so small next to all the other kids passing her: the tall, broad-shouldered football and lacrosse players... kids with black eyeliner and chains jingling as they walked... kids with water bottles in hand as they headed toward the gym... She walked confidently but I couldn't help but think of her as the little shrimp I would push on the swings, who would hold my hand as we walked.
Following the band's performance yesterday and the barbecue for the families, we headed to her dorm to help her hang up her full-length mirror on the wall and give her a few other things she had left behind at home. She was busy getting ready for her first college party at the drummers' house off-campus, so we were quickly shooed away. No long hugs or prolonged goodbyes, just a quick farewell and we were on our way.
I saw some pictures from the party today. I was less than thrilled with her wardrobe choices (low-rise jeans and crop top!), but it felt good when she called to tell me about the party. It's nice that we are now in that stage of our life, our sisterhood, our friendship where we can share secrets and wisdom.
It's strange that she's an adult.
But I suppose we all must grow up eventually.
We went to see her the next Wednesday, to move her things from temporary housing into her permanent dorm. Her room was mostly decorated when we left and she was clearly still unsure about her time at band camp.
At the time I felt a little guilty about giving her the cold shoulder, but at the same time I knew that only I could give her the tough love she needed. Seeing her yesterday confirmed that I was right to tell her "suck it up". She got practical suggestions from my mother, gentle support from my best friend who happens to be a senior in the same marching band, and me with my "you-got-yourself-into-this-mess, you-get-yourself-out" act. No coddling, no cooing or sympathy. Just a firm "you got this", a kiss on the forehead, and sending her on her way.
She's an adult now and I have been struggling to accept that for years now. Even yesterday as I watched her walk away from me, her ponytail swinging gently as she teetered away with her arms full of flag poles. She seemed so small next to all the other kids passing her: the tall, broad-shouldered football and lacrosse players... kids with black eyeliner and chains jingling as they walked... kids with water bottles in hand as they headed toward the gym... She walked confidently but I couldn't help but think of her as the little shrimp I would push on the swings, who would hold my hand as we walked.
Following the band's performance yesterday and the barbecue for the families, we headed to her dorm to help her hang up her full-length mirror on the wall and give her a few other things she had left behind at home. She was busy getting ready for her first college party at the drummers' house off-campus, so we were quickly shooed away. No long hugs or prolonged goodbyes, just a quick farewell and we were on our way.
I saw some pictures from the party today. I was less than thrilled with her wardrobe choices (low-rise jeans and crop top!), but it felt good when she called to tell me about the party. It's nice that we are now in that stage of our life, our sisterhood, our friendship where we can share secrets and wisdom.
It's strange that she's an adult.
But I suppose we all must grow up eventually.
Comments
Post a Comment