When Harry Met Sally
It's not that I don't care about him anymore. I do care, I still love and care about him very much. I adore his family and I miss talking to him every day about anything and everything. I'm not angry anymore. I'm not bitter. It's not even that I don't want to care about him. It's that I can't care; the price is too high.
A large part of why I haven't contacted him is that I have too much going on to deal with the stupid drama that comes with his "friendship". I do not have room in my life for one more thing that causes me distress. I'm at maximum capacity. I'm tired of the fighting and the tears. I'm tired of the frustration and pent up resentment. I'm tired of never knowing what is or isn't and living my life walking on eggshells. I don't have room for another drop of drama in my life. Nor do I have the time to spend on this.
So much has happened since we stopped speaking, so many things that have shaped me and forced me to grow. I have built up so many walls in those two months since we've spoken. I can't afford to get hurt again, to trust him again.
Then another part of me is simply resentful that he abandoned me in my time of need. He was the Harry to my Sally, except this movie doesn't have quite the happy ending (and I never made sex noises in a diner to prove a point). In my time of need, he told me that I shouldn't talk to him about my problems, and he walked away.
I wonder if he did it to teach me a lesson. Maybe just to start drama or maybe just because he's selfish? Maybe I'm too much for him to handle, maybe he didn't care about me as much as me thought. He wasn't there for me through during one tough moment and just as he slammed the door behind him, my world fell apart even further while I was left alone to fend for myself.
The last part of me is too proud and too stubborn to give in and apologize. I did nothing wrong so I refuse to apologize. I think the only thing we have in common is that we are both too stubborn to apologize when we don't think we were in the wrong. One day I will forgive him but I don't think we could ever be friends again. Maybe we have too much history and maybe I have too much at stake. Maybe we're too different. Maybe we just aren't meant to be friends.
It may sound condescending but I don't need him as much as I thought I needed him. I was always his friend. I was always willing to listen, even after he hurt me and all he wanted to do was talk about Her. He listened, but I always wondered if he truly heard me.
Sometimes I miss him and I hate myself for it. But I will always have moments when I miss him. I will miss the late-night talks and laughs about stuff no one else would find amusing. For all the things he did right, I miss him. So when I do miss him, I send him a little love and move on with my life. Because there are also times when I don't miss him. I wish him every happiness but without him, life goes on. With each day that passes, I move forward.
A large part of why I haven't contacted him is that I have too much going on to deal with the stupid drama that comes with his "friendship". I do not have room in my life for one more thing that causes me distress. I'm at maximum capacity. I'm tired of the fighting and the tears. I'm tired of the frustration and pent up resentment. I'm tired of never knowing what is or isn't and living my life walking on eggshells. I don't have room for another drop of drama in my life. Nor do I have the time to spend on this.
So much has happened since we stopped speaking, so many things that have shaped me and forced me to grow. I have built up so many walls in those two months since we've spoken. I can't afford to get hurt again, to trust him again.
Then another part of me is simply resentful that he abandoned me in my time of need. He was the Harry to my Sally, except this movie doesn't have quite the happy ending (and I never made sex noises in a diner to prove a point). In my time of need, he told me that I shouldn't talk to him about my problems, and he walked away.
I wonder if he did it to teach me a lesson. Maybe just to start drama or maybe just because he's selfish? Maybe I'm too much for him to handle, maybe he didn't care about me as much as me thought. He wasn't there for me through during one tough moment and just as he slammed the door behind him, my world fell apart even further while I was left alone to fend for myself.
The last part of me is too proud and too stubborn to give in and apologize. I did nothing wrong so I refuse to apologize. I think the only thing we have in common is that we are both too stubborn to apologize when we don't think we were in the wrong. One day I will forgive him but I don't think we could ever be friends again. Maybe we have too much history and maybe I have too much at stake. Maybe we're too different. Maybe we just aren't meant to be friends.
It may sound condescending but I don't need him as much as I thought I needed him. I was always his friend. I was always willing to listen, even after he hurt me and all he wanted to do was talk about Her. He listened, but I always wondered if he truly heard me.
Sometimes I miss him and I hate myself for it. But I will always have moments when I miss him. I will miss the late-night talks and laughs about stuff no one else would find amusing. For all the things he did right, I miss him. So when I do miss him, I send him a little love and move on with my life. Because there are also times when I don't miss him. I wish him every happiness but without him, life goes on. With each day that passes, I move forward.
This sounds like me with a guy I was with before my husband. We are still friends but it took a break to get us in the right place in each others life! Good Luck!
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