Lust, Love, Loss
One of my best friends, Laura*, recently ended her engagement to her fiancé, Jack*. Even though I know both their hearts are broken, it's more important that they finally ended this tumultuous relationship they have been in for two rocky years. They're devastated and I know that they truly love one another. As Nicholas Sparks said in The Notebook: "You can't live your life for other people. You have to do what's best for you, even if it hurts some people you love." It didn't work out for them. Some people are meant to find each other, to fall in love...but not meant to be together forever. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is letting go of someone, letting go of someone because you love them.
Now that's not to say that all engagements/marriages of young people are doomed to fail; that's not what I'm saying at all. My parents married when my mother was twenty, but twenty in nineteen seventy-six is not the same as the twenty of today. Many of my friends are in serious committed relationships or are getting engaged at this age. Personally, I'm content with my two cats, large brownie sundaes and romantic comedies on Friday nights. Such a serious commitment when you're twenty is an incredibly daunting premise to me.
Laura and Jack - they just couldn't make it work. Honestly, I think that them breaking it off is best; it's far better than forcing something and them being bitter and angry until they divorced later. I know they will both love again, it may just take some time. Jack has taken the typical "Post-Breakup" depressed route: alcohol and sleeping all the time. Laura is taking the opposite approach and is casually dating all the guys who are tripping over themselves for a chance with her.
So while it sucks that Laura and Jack are both heartbroken, it's important to remember that we're human and heartbreak is an inevitable risk with love. Love is never a simple thing. It's complex, with many layers and tons of different emotions attached to those layers. We, as humans, crave emotional connections. "Tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all", no?
*Names have been changed to protect identities and respect my friends' privacy.
Now that's not to say that all engagements/marriages of young people are doomed to fail; that's not what I'm saying at all. My parents married when my mother was twenty, but twenty in nineteen seventy-six is not the same as the twenty of today. Many of my friends are in serious committed relationships or are getting engaged at this age. Personally, I'm content with my two cats, large brownie sundaes and romantic comedies on Friday nights. Such a serious commitment when you're twenty is an incredibly daunting premise to me.
Laura and Jack - they just couldn't make it work. Honestly, I think that them breaking it off is best; it's far better than forcing something and them being bitter and angry until they divorced later. I know they will both love again, it may just take some time. Jack has taken the typical "Post-Breakup" depressed route: alcohol and sleeping all the time. Laura is taking the opposite approach and is casually dating all the guys who are tripping over themselves for a chance with her.
So while it sucks that Laura and Jack are both heartbroken, it's important to remember that we're human and heartbreak is an inevitable risk with love. Love is never a simple thing. It's complex, with many layers and tons of different emotions attached to those layers. We, as humans, crave emotional connections. "Tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all", no?
*Names have been changed to protect identities and respect my friends' privacy.
Completely agree...but humans also need to grow more spiritually.
ReplyDeleteGreat blog awesome writings!